A relationship can only grow beyond chemical attraction by having the capacity to develop a friendship.
Relationship Tips
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Summary
Mnemonic
Chemistry opens the relationship door, but building friendship grows the connection even more.
Problem
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Solution
You already know that establishing an initial platonic friendship based on common interests, shared values, and appreciated differences is how you create a stable basis for any friendship. Therefore, if an intimate partner relationship were to evolve between you and someone that you care about, wouldn’t you want that relationship to have at least an equal foundation of friendship. The problem is that it’s that felt sense of chemistry between you and another that is often the catalyst that gets you to, through the door, and into an intimate relationship situation. Heads up! That initially intoxicating sense of chemistry that you are feeling when you are first getting into someone is more of an early indicator of the likelihood that any pre-existing and unresolved emotional hurts that you are carrying into this present moment are eventually going to push your new partner’s buttons and that your new partner’s unresolved hurts from the past will be pushing your buttons right back in return. No need to run the other way though, just remember that real chemistry that includes a stable basis for friendship is developed over time and with a lot of intentional practice. And if you’re planning on having a relationship last a while or at least if you are wishing it would last awhile, then you will eventually have to figure out how to lay the foundation for sustainable friendship. Your work is to remember that it’s human nature to start off in a hurry toward being lovers, but that you will always eventually come to the conclusion that you have either wisely selected a partner who is also your friend and developed a solid friendship with that person… or you haven’t. And the better friends you are, the more satisfying your romantic relationship will be. Oh, and that includes the lovemaking part.